Forgiven

You know how people have a life verse?  Well, when I was in high school, I learned a song that has become a life song.  That song is "Take My Life" by Third Day.  The first verse of this song is: "How many times have I turned away?  The number is the same, as the sand on the shore.  But every time, you've taken me back. And, now I pray you do it once more. Please take from me my life, when I don't have the strength to give it away to you, Jesus."  I feel like this is all I say to God.  I know it's not true, there are other prayers I have, but this is the one constant.  I continually mess up and turn away from Him and EVERY TIME he takes me back into the same loving and healing arms as before.  He forgives me.  And, even though I left Him for a time, He assures me that He NEVER left me!  No matter how long I was away, no matter how bad I feel I've messed up, no matter what sins were committed, no matter WHAT, God WELCOMES me into His presence!  Now, I know that when someone has turned on me, i am not very willing to take them back...and even after forgiveness there is a time of dis-trust where the other person must somehow earn back my love and affection and community...until they do, they remain on the outside.  This is common in our fleshy relationships...isn't it?  When someone has wronged us, we lock them out for a time...sometimes forever...  I'm will to bet that you have someone in mind right now.  Someone who's done this to you...or someone you're doing this too.  It's natural.  When we are hurt, we want to protect ourselves.  

God is not like that.

No matter WHAT you have done, God loves you the same and holds you in his arms even while you kick and scream like a child to get away from Him.  And when it's over, He welcomes You back the same as before.  No love to earn.  No time to make up for.  Nothing to work hard to get back.  He just keeps on loving you.  Unconditionally.  What a great comfort and peace that truth is!  But, there's more.  Because God has modeled this love for us, because He continues to show us and teach us HOW to love, and because He created us in His own likeness...We are called to love the same.  God's desire is for us, His people, to love each other unconditionally as he has loved us.  We have the perfect model.  The triune God of the Universe has shown us how...Now how will we respond?

I wonder, how can one forgiveness be the same as another?  Perhaps what this person did to me is worse than what I've done to someone else?  No, hunny.  Forgiveness is forgiveness...there is none better or worse...it's forgiveness.  If God has forgiven us (His people), and welcomed us back into His glorious presence after we have caused His SON TO DIE ON A CROSS because of our sin, how can we not forgive another person (also made in God's likeness) for whatever thing they've done to us?  It's forgiveness.

Check out the song.  It's amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP_uMWULQN0

For the Love of...

Happy Saturday!  I hope you have had a great week!  I know I did!  Today was the perfect start to Fall!  Sunny and 90...Praise the Lord!  I couldn't ask for a better day!  There is so much joy in sunshine...it's like a hug from God saved just for me!  I went out to Target today in search of a product I have fallen in love with...have you ever fallen in love with a product only to find that it's no longer made anymore...or it's no longer carried in stores?  This is what I found today.  I went looking in three stores and was disappointed.  As I drove home, God began forming a thought in my mind...We've fallen in love with the world's product.  Whatever the world culture is selling each of us (for some it's instant gratification, for others it's wealth, of others a big house with lots of space, for others the perfect job, for others time...the list goes on) we've fallen for it. Then, when we search God for a refill on the product we love, we come away disappointed.  Why?  Because we've fallen in love with something that is not from God.  God loves us so much that He created the world perfectly just for us...SO much that He sent His son to die to save us from eternal darkness!  God fills us with light yet we remain loyal to the darkness.

Now, to be clear, I'm not equating shopping to darkness....I AM equating the misplaced love of things to darkness.  God created us to love.  In our sin we direct our love toward man made things--even God made things--and in no time at all we've lost sight of God.  I was reminded in my shopping venture that there are few things I need and even fewer things I love (though I throw the word around easily enough).  I was reminded that the one true origin of my love is God and He is where my affections should be directed.  He is first in all things!

That's it friends, short and sweet!  The love of God overflows from my heart so I can share it with you!  Have a blessed Sunday and a beautiful week!

Wait...

Waiting can be the longest and hardest process of a person's life.  Christian or not, we spend much of our lives waiting.  We wait for high school...then we wait for college...then we wait for our career.  We wait for the bus, we wait at a red light, we wait in traffic.  We wait for the microwave, we wait for the coffee pot, we wait for water to boil.  We wait in line, we wait on hold, we wait for change.  We wait at the doctors office, we wait for results, we wait for a cure...  Waiting sometimes seems a chore...a necessary evil...a waste of time...above all, irritating and many times painful.  The Christian is told to wait on God.  Psalm 27:14 tells us to "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Luke 12:35-37 urges us to be alert and keep our lamps lit as those waiting for their master to return.

...

I had written out this beautiful 'message' last night....I was going to send and post on time this week...and in my haste, I lost the whole thing.  I had written about waiting...it was eloquent and lovely and expressed exactly what I wanted to say; the point being that we should wait IN God rather than wait ON Him, work WITH Him rather than Against Him...and perhaps this message is better suited to another time, because God stopped me.  I spent much of last night upset and frustrated at myself that I lost all my hard work and then sat down this afternoon to recreate the beauty of last night's Saturdays with Sara...and I realize as I sit here, that I have made this about me.  I have become the center goal rather than God.  I have turned this great blessing to encourage others through the wisdom God has given me into a vessel of praise for myself.  It may not look this way on the outside, in fact to you it may seem the same, as though nothing has changed.  But as I think over the past months and consider my heart, I see the truth is I have stopped consulting God and allowed myself to lose sight of the purpose.  So, lets revisit that purpose.  

I began Saturdays with Sara as a letter of encouragement to two of my dear friends which morphed at God's push into this blog.  God had prompted me to send you a weekly email encouraging you to persevere in your mission and run the race with strength and confidence in the Lord.  I woke up early every Saturday morning, I prayed, and I allowed God to lead.  Somewhere along the way, that purpose got lost.  At some point in the past few months, I have become the center of my life...and God has become all but forgotten...a memory...an afterthought...I'm not sure where to go from here other than to return in prayer to God.  I desire to be His hands and feet.  I desire to use the gift He has given me to encourage and uplift you, my dear friends and the people who read my blog.  This, I believe is still part of God's plan.

I need to begin again to wait in God for direction.  To rest in God's timing.  Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that God makes all things beautiful in HIS time and has set eternity in the hearts of men, but we can not know the beginning from the end.  The point of my prior email (the one unsent) was that as we allow God's love to overflow in our hearts...as we allow His will to direct our paths...as we serve Him using the gifts He's blessed us with we lose sight of the wait and it becomes less difficult...waiting becomes more of a joy as we see and feel how God is changing and shaping us through our works and our wait.  (it made more sense before).

Now that I've reminded myself of why I'm doing this, maybe we can get back on track.  I am so thankful to God for the journey he has brought me on...the changes He has made in me.  Without God, I would not be who I am today and could not become the woman He created me to be.  He has a purpose for each of us, and as we WAIT in Him, we begin to see glimpses of His big picture.  We will never know the end as God does, but we can rest in the truth that He has only our good in mind and take comfort in the fact that God is continually changing us and transforming us through our trials and through our waiting.  SO, the encouragement for myself today, and I hope for you, is to serve God confidently, love God's creation with the same zeal that He does, and live our lives in a way that can point ONLY to God!  

I hope I've expressed my heart well today to the Glory of God...and I hope you have a great week!

"1.21 Gigawatts"

Well, so much for the coolness of last weekend, here comes the heat just in time for Labor Day...September is here and I am SO ready for it to be fall.  The build-up of anticipation is on the verge of bubbling over.  It's true there is a time for everything under the sun, and as the end of a season draws near our hearts quicken with anticipation for that burst into the new and exciting frontier God lays before us.  This past week sped along in a blur...looking back, I find myself confusing where in time I actually stand...a friend referenced the "flux capacitor" (Back to the Future?)  in an email this past week and I feel as though I am in need of one...a trip into the past to fully understand and comprehend where God has taken me.  Do you ever feel lost within your week?  Not sure what the date is, when that deadline was, where did Tuesday go???  No?  Ok, so it's just me then.  In the midst of all this confusion and blurred hindsight I have neglected the one thing that is truly important...I seem to have a knack for forgetting my God who has brought me this far and loved me through each and every harried moment...this I feel ever so deeply.  We all go through these times of dry faith...out of the word and therefore out of touch with the Spirit within us, my "dry spells" seem much closer together than anyone else I know.  Thankfully, I remain habitual in prayer.  Talking daily, many times hourly, with God.  Listening for His input.  Waiting for His guidance.  Asking His forgiveness. All the while seeking to find myself in the center of His will.  And even though Satan tries to convince me that I fail at this, I know he is wrong because I know the peace that passes all understanding...I know that gentle wave of calm and serenity, even through the storm rages all around I have shelter and peace in the center of God's will.  I could be doing better, for sure!  But, God does not call us to be perfect!  At the end of our short post this evening I am reminded of my favorite name for God: Jehovah-Nissi, The LORD is my Banner!  This powerful name of God is announced at the top of my blog and it is what I wish for people to see when they see me.  The Lord, my banner.  Of course, I know that the Lord is not always the banner I choose to fly...sometimes I find my banner is much darker.  There are all sorts of banners, flags we fly to announce our arrival in life, flashing neon lights selling what we have to offer, alerting those who see us to the truth of our character and the focus of our lives.  What banner (or banners) have you flown today?  This week?  I challenge myself, as i challenge you, to be conscious of my banner throughout the day...Am I carrying the banner of Christ?

God Makes All Things Beautiful!

Fall is in the air this morning! There's a cool breeze and it smells like dry leaves; it's the kind of weather that makes me want warm cozy blankets, hot chocolate, and ooey gooey warm cheesey dinners. Fall, I think is the most comforting season, and it seems that every time fall hits, I need some comforting. God know exactly what we need and brings us through our seasons at just the right time. This past week has been a week of loss...On Monday, we helped Bailey, our sweet dog of 15 years out of pain and out of this world. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am so thankful that God prepares our hearts for times like these and fills them with His love, mercy, and grace. I still have an empty feeling when I think of her and am reminded she's no longer here, and I imagine that will linger for quite some time.

Then, on Wednesday, I found out that someone close to me is "moving away", and we will no longer be able to be "so" close...Last, on Friday, I said goodbye to nine of my students (that's half of my class) as they "moved up" to their new class, some of them had been with me for almost a year-and-a-half, this prooved to be more difficult than anticipated. The comfort of this fall breeze is more than healing than I can describe! Sitting in my living room with the door and windows open, getting close to grabing a blanket, looking forward to the new week and new season ahead.

I was reminded this morning of the verse that says

"And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”' Revelation 21:5

"He has made everything appropriate (good, beautiful) in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiasties 3:11

Our God is in the business of transformations...think of the swan, for example. The swan duckling is often reffered to as "the ugly duckling," we've all hear the children's story of how the ugly duckling is laughed at and teased and them grows and matures to become more beautiful than his taunting counterparts...(looking at the picture above, these litte swans are not so ugly, but for the sake of illustration, lets pretend)  I believe this is a beautiful picture of God 'making all things new.' God can bring beauty out of every situation, good or bad, and works all things together for our good, and does not allow anything that does not fit into or fulfill His will and final plan. So, I like to think that God is in the business of swan-making! Which he is. He made the swans, afterall. :) What I mean is, even after my seemingly terrible week, I know that just like the swan, just like this cool fall morning after a crazy-hot summer, God is renewing and refining my heart through every season He wills for me to go through. Therefore, I must be thankful, even for this past week, because God is using it to transform my heart and my life so that I, too, may one day become the "beautiful ending" he has planned for me!

Blessings, friends! As I look forward to my beautiful ending and the journey of life that will take me there, I pray that God will reveal something beautiful to you this week. Just as Ecclesiasties says, He makes ALL things beautiful in its time!

Off Track...

Have you ever struggled with a season of apathy? I believe there are seasons for everything, Ecclesiastes tells us much about seasons...this season, my heart is steeped in apathy...many times I find myself not wanting to do anything say anything feel anything...Even this email/post/devotional*as some of you have termed SWS* I've been putting off for two weeks. My mind babbles like a river with phrases and ideas that may or may not be filled with wisdom and I compose and revise and think through sentences and paragraphs of next week's blog and when Saturday comes around I seem to find other things to do...avoiding the calling, the tug at my heart to share what God has placed on my heart. So, as I struggle through not wanting and not trying and not enjoying I force-feed encouragement to myself in an attempt to grow to change to move forward to...something...only to feel like life has thrown another curve ball aimed at my heart...God never said life would be easy. In fact, just the opposite, Christ assured us that we would have trials and storms of many kinds and people would hate and persecute us. And life is hard friends...SO hard. I am SO grateful to God for sending the Holy Spirit to enter my heart and HELP me through this life.

My weeks since my last blog have been difficult and I suppose I've used that as an excuse to neglect my commitment to you...Bailey, my sweet dog, got sick last weekend and has been steadily declining, this week, after 15 years of loving furry friendship, we will say goodbye to our dear pet. I am heartbroken. I LOVE that I have a God who I can CRY out to and He will heal my heart! This God who healed Naaman of his leprosy, raised Lazarus from the dead, kept Jonah alive in the belly of a great fish, flooded the earth, parted the red sea and SO many other miracles send Jesus to earth to die on a cross and be raised from the dead so that YOU and I can have life/healing/restoration/and joy everlasting! What wonderful comfort in this truth! So, even in my apathy and lack of passion, I can run to the arms of Jesus and feel comfort and healing...through prayer I can communicate my heart to the One who already knows everything about me and as I draw near to Him, He draws near to me and I begin to feel my passion returning-my desire renewing-my will conforming- and I find myself ultimately in the center of God's will! And no matter how hard life seems to be going, no matter how low or painful or lost life feels, I know I can turn to Christ in prayer and He will ALWAYS rain down comfort and healing! And THAT is a truth worth sharing!

When you experience apathy, combat it with prayer and ALWAYS remember who you are in Christ! You ARE a saint, made perfect, loved, healed, forgiven, restored, redeemed, and washed white as snow! (among so many other things). No matter what pain I may feel, no matter how hard I feel life gets, no matter how many times I turn away, no matter WHAT, God pursues me with the answer! What sweet love :)

I'm sorry that this week we seem to have deviated from out normal pattern of discussion, but this has been my heart for two or three weeks now so I figure God wanted me to share! I hope you've enjoyed our little journey into my heart...I know I needed it!

Made New in Christ

Sunday again and a beautifully sunny morning (how fitting! Sun for Sunday)! This week has been FULL of lessons learned and lessons still to come. And, of course, Saturday has somehow gotten away from me...So, good Sunday morning! I love the creation of nature! I can look out the window when I wake in the morning and see trees and grass and sunshine and birds...all of which have no ulterior motives, nothing to hide, and ALWAYS glorify their creator, God...this is not so of humans! As you may have noticed, people are a bit harder to 'read' and understand than a tree. "Duh," you say...but stick with me on this...there's beauty in the end!

What do you see when you look at someone. Typically, when we look at people, whether we know them or not, we see their appearance (face, body, clothing, etc...) Just as when we look at anything else, we see the outside. All mind and soul function are hidden from our eyes. People are complex. They can hurt us, comfort us, encourage us, lie to us, manipulate us, show emotion, and a vast array of other things...some good and some sinful. How wonderful to be created with so many different attributes! Now, we can know a person as we spend time with them and see the overflow of their heart in their actions and words, but this usually refers to a small, tight knit group of people we would call friends. At face value, we see a 'picture' of a person...a picture void of soul truth. So, what does God see when he looks at us?

Our God is magnificently all powerful and all knowing and all seeing...when God looks at us, he sees our sin. Every sin: past, present, and future...God sees the heart, therefore God sees your sin. "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 1Samuel16:7. I love the poetic phrasing in Isaiah64:6:

"All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away."

"Well, great," you say...when God looks at us He sees filthy rags! But that's not the end of the story, my friends! This verse in Isaiah comes from the Old Testament, and though in our New Testament times God still sees the heart and still sees our sin (for He is UNchanging!), we have great hope! See 1John1:7:

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light,

we have fellowship with one another,

and the blood of Jesus, his Son,

purifies us from all sin."

"The blood of Jesus PURIFIES us from all sin!" What a blessing! And, what a relief! God sees all...and because of our sin we were separated from him...enter Jesus! God sent His only son to die the worst death so that IF we accept this gift and allow Jesus to rule over our hearts, our sins are washed away! We are made clean! God no longer LOOKS at our sin (though He can still SEE it ALL), now he LOOKS at Christ, and welcomes us...no longer separated! There is NO GREATER love than this!

This past week I have struggled with an idol I have created...All the while I could hear that 'still small voice' (the Holy Spirit) call to me, pleading with me to turn away from this idol that was causing me to take my eyes off God, and I ignored it...I kept on in my sin, enjoying the pleasure it brought me (forget that it left me feeling guilty and alone at the end of the day). I tried to excuse it away, tried to tell myself "It's not really a sin...I'm not hurting anybody...I'll turn back tomorrow..." feeding myself lies, giving Satan room to redecorate my heart. It doesn't take long for Satan to see the smallest window of opportunity in our heart, the smallest turning away and rejection of God becomes Satan's widest opening...he swoops in and begins to redecorate our hearts and our lives and before we can see what's happened, we are knee deep in a sin we had no business giving our life to. Hallelujah, God has sent Jesus to save us! AS SOON AS we repent of our sin and turn back to God, we are made new. We are cleansed. God welcomes us back with loving open arms! Of course, it's not easy to drop the sin or tear down the idol...but God gives us grace and time to work at it, knowing full well if and when we will falter again. And, dear one, He's already agreed to take you back, pick you up, brush you off and clean you up when that happens! BEST of all, we don't need to do anything! We don't need to tear down those idols on our own. We don't need to purge our lives of that sin by ourselves! If we ALLOW God to work, HE will do it WITH us! What beautiful truth!

Remember, brothers and sisters, no matter how deep we dig ourselves into a sin, God is ALWAYS there to pull us out and help us fill in the sin-hole with

Jesus!