So Over Perfect

I overthink...everything!  I am constantly plagued by the need to please because I fear I will let EVERYONE down because I hold myself to such a high standard of perfection.  I will let my family down, I will let my friends down, I will let myself down...I have no hope of ever living up to my own standard.  I overthink everything you say, and apply it to myself and our relationship (or lack of) because I must be perfect and therefore you will like me...  More than that, I put the blame on myself for everything that goes wrong.

I must say, in this mindset, I am never happy.  Stolen joy in spades!  What kind of way is that to live a life?

Do you ever feel this way?

I know what you're thinking, "No, I don't feel this way, what kind of self centered person believes she is the center of the world."  I assure you, I do not think nearly so highly of myself.  Then again, maybe some of you can relate...and on some level I hope you can, (partly because that means I'm not alone in this) because I have a beautiful truth to share with you...one that, when I allow myself to truly consider it, always reshapes my thinking.

First, no one is perfect, nor can anyone BE perfect.  Why?  Because we all sin.  We all fall short of the glory of God!  Why should that matter?  Because He, in fact, IS perfect.  Jesus (God in the flesh) left the glory and perfection of Heaven to live a SINLESS life in a drastically imperfect world.  Jesus is perfect, I am not.  We can live yielded to God's commands and so become like Christ in many ways, but our very nature is to sin...to fall short...to fail. Which leads me to the next hurdle...

I will fail!  That is a fact of life.  Disappointments happen.  I will let you down just as you will let me down.  Fact. Of. Life.  My greatest fear is that these mistakes will cause me to be tossed aside and rejected.  But this is not God's response.  God uses our mistakes to teach us and others about his grace and mercy, His goodness and love.  In our weakness, He is made strong!  Why should this matter...?  Because Jesus (God in flesh) died on the cross to take the burden of your sins and mine (past, present, and future) on HIMSELF so that we would no longer be required to pay the penalty of imperfection!  So that we can live in the light of HIS perfection as our own!  And, so the we too can extend grace and mercy, goodness and love to those around us when they fail.  What sweet truth!!!

Lastly, we have no guarantees that anyone will like us...in fact, the bible tells us that we will be hated because of Christ!  And, if we are living yielded to Christ, His light shines through us, and THAT is what people ultimately are attracted to...and it's not something we need to try to make happen.  God does it.  Isn't that so freeing?  Not only can I not be perfect, not only will I always mess up, but I don't have to impress you because God the father (and by extension, everyone else) sees Jesus when He looks at me!  Did you catch that part?  If you've yielded your life to Jesus, it applies to you too!  WHEN GOD LOOKS AT YOU HE SEES HIS SON!!! He sees Jesus.  He sees the cross.  He sees the wounds Christ bore for you SO THAT you and I wouldn't have to strive for perfection but rather remain yielded...remain behind Jesus in the eyes of the Father.

So, there.  No overthinking that...straight forward truth.  I am not the center, Jesus is.  Oh how I pray I will remain yielded to Him and so save myself from the dire pit of perfection that is dug by Satan himself!  Lord, remind me in times of self doubt that only Jesus is perfect, and the only way I can be successful is to hide myself in Him!  I pray the same for you!

When God Speaks with Silence

Have you ever sat in the quiet, Bible in your lap, pen in your hand, journal ready...waiting...waiting to hear that "still small voice."  Waiting for God to speak some life-explaining truth into your weary and ready spirit?  Only to find that all you hear is the quiet stillness of the room?  Yeah.  Been there.  It can be discouraging, disappointing, disheartening, and every other "dis"-ing you can think of...  It may feel like through His silence God is saying "No" to your inner desires, and maybe He is; or, maybe the silence is an invitation to wait, perhaps an encouragement to continue doing what you're doing.  In any case, God's silence does not mean He is not speaking.  Take, for example, that friend or family member who can say a whole lot without ever opening their mouth... I think God responds this way sometimes too.

I've spent the past few years running the other direction from "some of" God (thinking I could compartmentalize God and keep the commands I liked, and explain away or discard the ones I didn't)...I knew my plan for my life could never be better than His...but He was just taking too darn long!  So, I took it upon myself to make my life happen...and it was working out "just fine" (when I lied to myself about it).  I knew...could FEEL that I was headed in the wrong direction with my choices...and friends and family told me as much...that I was changing.  Did I listen?  Do we ever when we think we know best?

Of course, things fell apart...a few times.  I cried...a lot.  I picked up the pieces of the glass castle I had built and I rebuilt it...each rebuilding shakier than the last.  I refused to look at the glaringly negative toxicness of my choices and the blatant corrective consequences God blessed me with.  Each castle-shattering breakdown sent me deeper into my own efforts and further from God.  I had twisted what I knew to be true of God into some ugly-pseudo-half-truths that fit my needs and I told myself I was content.  Reality was only clear in the aftermath of each time things fell apart when I would be granted a moment of clarity.  Each time clarity stayed a little longer (a few hours, a day, a week, a month) but I ran back into the ruble to rebuild each time, and it became comfortable.  The lies I was believing became my comfort.

God's silence helped me break free.

Before all my selfish efforts my relationship with God was maturing.  I would listen and He would speak.  My spirit rarely felt his silence.  It was when I stopped "hearing" his still small voice that I realized I was running my own show, and something needed to break the cycle.

Now, I look back over the past few years and see so clearly that I was running hard after SATAN's plan for my life (thinking it was God-approved).  It wasn't even what I wanted, yet I was chasing it all so hard.  I was believing the devil's lie that what I wanted in MY timing was right... I wasn't purposefully running from God, I was running TO Satan and losing the depth of my relationship with God in the process.  In God's silence He made me stop and really look.  What I saw was that Satan was battling so hard for my affections because he feared something I didn't recognize in myself...He knew (and is right to fear) that I have a calling on my life and that God will use me for His glory.  In that moment, in God's silence...when I stopped to quiet my own voice and truly LISTEN and WAIT for His, He healed my heart's blindness and I saw my choices for what they were...and my glass castle shattered for good this time...allowing me the space to yield to God so He could clear my efforts and rebuild something that would last on His foundation.

God's silence speaks volumes.  It can be painful and hard, but He will never leave or forsake you.  He is ALWAYS at your side, and He will be there to help you rebuild.  Trust Him.  His plan and His timing truly are best...sometimes we can't see that until we really let go of the idols we hold so dearly.  God's silence gives us pause to reflect and, if we need to, redirect our efforts.  To put Him at the center once more and clear away everything we have made in our own strength.

Easter

It's been a long time.  Two years almost since my last post, and for all this time there has been this persistent gnawing in the back of my mind...drawing me back...pulling me back...insisting that I have too long neglected my voice (however small its reach).  So, here we are.  Blank screen, blinking cursor, fingers to the keys...and a still small voice my heart and mind hush to hear.

Easter.

Yesterday was Good Friday.  Christ murdered.  Hung on a tree.  Bleeding and broken because of, in payment for our sin...MY sin...your sin.  All laid bare...so putrid and vile and disgusting that the Father turns His face away from His perfect sinless Son because He can no longer bear to look at the blemish, the defilement OUR sins have caused.  Jesus took it willingly.  Painfully.  So WE don't have to.

Silence.

Today...Saturday...nothing.  Nothing but the weeping, wailing, cries of mourning for the Savior who was supposed to win not die!  How could He!?  Where was the Savior NOW???  A people filled with sorrow, regret, bewilderment, unease...

...But God...

Sunday.  The stone is rolled away!  The Tomb Is Empty!  HE IS RISEN!  HE LIVES!!  HALLELUJAH!!!  Jesus is victorious!  He has done what He said he would do.  And now, our sin is washed away and no longer taints the view God has of us because He now views us through the lens of Jesus who was our sacrifice, our death, our price, our resurrection, out LIFE!  What wonderful news to spread through out the world!  Praise God He loves us enough to pursue us even to the cross...even through the pain of our every day...even through the struggles of our past and the trials yet to come.  Once we say yes to Jesus, He follows us through all of it...even when we run the other direction.  He is always right there with us to welcome us into open arms when we are ready to once again surrender to His will and purpose for our lives.

That, my friends, is what Easter means to me.  A beginning.  A renewal.  Life everlasting!  I took a wrong turn...Jesus was there the whole time...protecting me...guiding me even when I didn't want Him to.  Always right there with me, waiting for the moment I would stop trying to make it happen my way and allow Him to have reign over my life once more.  Easter begs us to remember who we are IN CHRIST.  Easter reminds us of our WORTH!  

Happy Easter!

A Fickle Lover

It's amazing to me how God knows just how to speak right into my heart...when I am not looking, listening, learning, or leaning on Him for anything...He's there, reminding me of His presence, in a way I never could have imagined.

When I find myself running 100mph in the opposite direction, He allows a situation or encounter or relationship to show me HIS place in my heart.  And, it's here...when I finally stop my running and turn back to Him...that I find He is only ONE step behind me.  Waiting for me.  Watching for me.  Willing for me to return to His arms.  He doesn't make me journey back to Him... He doesn't make me work for His forgiveness or grace or mercy...He's just right there...holding it all out to me SO freely!  And I don't deserve it!  And He doesn't care...His love is SO obsessively purely transparently perfect.

And all this hits me right between the eyes while walking the other day.  Of course.  I had forgotten how sweet it is to take a walk alone...with my savior...with myself.  He speaks so freely in the quiet clamor of His creation.  And it's profound.

So what is this profound truth?  I am a fickle lover to my Christ.  I meet with Him once (maybe twice) a week for our weekly date.  We spend uninterrupted, intimate time together...and I don't call Him the rest of the week.  I continue on with my "busy" schedule and even when I have time with nothing to do, I fill it with facebook...or reading...or family...or, let's be honest, sleeping.  Don't get me wrong, NONE of these things are BAD things! *in moderation in some cases -cough-facebook-cough*  BUT, the point is, NONE of them should come before Christ (or between me and Christ).  The savior of my soul who freely and willingly gives me all His love and grace and peace and joy...and I could go on and on and on...  But Culture says it's not acceptable to be a one-God-woman.  "Play the field," Culture says.  "Take risks," Culture says.  "Make mistakes," Culture says.  "You'll never know until you try," Culture says.  "I have needs," Culture says.  "I could make you change your mind," Culture says.

And we do.

We do everything Culture asks of us because Culture feels good.  Because Culture sounds good.  Because Culture looks good.  Because we don't want to see any of it go away...

Here's the kicker friends, we may be fickle lovers, but God is loyal, trustworthy, and true!  Most of all, for our fickle ways, He is unconditionally forgiving.  *That's unCODITIONal not inCONSEQUENTial...there will be consequences for our deliberate disobedience*  But we are forgiven.  We are welcomed back.  We are given a second chance...and a third...and a fourth...and a tenth...and a millionth if that's what it takes.  The truth of Christ is this, He died to save you...to have you in His family...to have you by His side for eternity.  Nothing ever can separate!

Now...I know that I will return to my fickle, distracted, discontented, Culture seeking ways...it's in my nature...but I will try to resist, and my effort will not go unnoticed.  And sometimes I will come out ahead.

But here's the point.  Stop meeting with God for your intimate once a week date and forgetting about Him for the rest of the week...because, let's face it, we all know how this feels...  He wants to hear from you regularly...every day!  Every moment if you want!  You can not contact Him too much!  You will not bother Him.  He will drop everything and listen and RESPOND to your every prayer!  He is THAT in LOVE with YOU!

Change is Pricey

blank page
blinking cursor
birdsong out the open window.

pieces of thoughts like
popcorn popping
puzzled just won't fit together.

wordless ideas
windblown papers
what are we trying to say?

twelve disciples
tattered linen
tears shed for a fallen teacher.

saving grace
something changes
sights and sounds in joyful chorus

champion of death
Christ now lives!
character... influence... reason...

broken once, now
bound in Christ
breathless awe at this changed life.



When I opened this empty blog page this morning, I had so many rabbit trails of ideas and thoughts none of them seemed to fit together.  No direction. No intention.  Just the need to put it all down.  When writing papers and essays in school, I always seemed to do my best work sitting in front of a blank screen (or page)...that first word was all it took.  So, here's this poem.  God amazes me as he works even through this...guiding my thoughts so that the finished lines speak to me in a way I never thought they could.
Change is what has been most boldly in my mind.  There are many things I desire to change within myself, both mentally and physically.  And, I wonder, is it true that

 ...people never really change?

I don't think so.  Look at Christ's disciples!  Each one of them became a changed life!  Every person who is made new in Christ becomes a changed life!  Change is possible. It's difficult, but possible.  Christ can do it, and it can be all at once and easier than I once believed.

I always looked at change as something very difficult.  I thought in order to change I had to give up something...and, through the difficulty of abstaining, I had to add something completely different and make it an instant habit.  Christ has shown me that this is not the case.  Change comes through substitution.  Christ died on the cross as a substitution for me, changing how God the father looks at me (as one cleansed, no longer stained by sin)...and now I am welcomed as one of His own.  With that in mind, change is never free.

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Application, what good will I substitute for the not so good in my life today?

Breaking Down Walls

A wall is not built by one brick...a doubt is not formed by one question...a life is not lived by one moment...a change is not reached by one choice, it takes many.  In our culture of "I want it now" littered with fast food, instant messaging, direct deposit, and live TV (to name only a few) we can easily forget how things...all things, must work together...and DO work together, build on each other, need one another (whether we want them to or not).  Each moment of an individual life becomes interwoven with every other moment and effects how past is perceived and how future is approached.  Not only that, but in the amazing way God has created our minds we are able to relate one unrelated moment with another and find a common thread.  A message, if you will, of learning directed specifically at the individual.  We see this when a conversation, television show, song on the radio, and sermon all seem to "speak" the same message into our lives in a short period of time.  It is these learnings we share with others.  We talk about "how weird is this?"...  I believe it's God's way of saying "Listen up!  I have a plan for you!"

The church sermon today was on the Second Coming of Jesus, Sunday school before church was about how we know the Bible is trustworthy, and yesterday I had a conversation with my family about Satan's desire to stop us in our tracks by building up a wall and blocking out the light.  Through these individual moments, the Holy Spirit spoke truth into my life in a way that said, "Listen up!  I have a plan for you!" When God speaks this way, we simply can not keep it to ourselves, so I'd like to share the common thread with you: DOUBT.

How often do we doubt?  We may doubt a commercial, or a story told to us by a friend.  We may doubt the stability of a structure, or the validity of the weather man.  Whatever doubts you're faced with on a day to day, the one we all have in common is doubt in our faith...doubt in God.  We are all presented with opportunities to doubt God.  This is Satan's life's work!  His desire is to cause us to doubt God's truth and turn away!  Let's look at it this way, we are all walking our own tunnel and there is light at the end...suddenly, we smack into a brick wall-stopping us in our tracks and blocking out the light.  On the wall is written a question.  Satan's way of weaseling into your thoughts with a question (which may be based in fact) laced with the slightest hint of a lie.  And what do we do?  It's dark...the light is hidden.  It's cold...the light's warmth is blocked.  We panic.  We doubt.  We fear.  We begin to wonder if that question written on the brick wall is valid...we begin to question God...we begin to believe Satan.

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That's the ugly truth of it...if you're NOT believing God, you ARE believing Satan...and he is winning a battle (within your heart) that he has already LOST!!!  Did you hear that?  Satan is trying to take back a victory that is not his.  Christ WON the battle on the cross and Satan is pissed!  He will do EVERYTHING in his power to hide the victor's banner from your sight.  BUT...there is hope!  If you have the Holy Spirit, you have the power to tell Satan to flee from your sight and that brick wall will flee with him and take all doubt with it!  What beautiful fantastic hope!

Are you up against a wall?  Are you having trouble seeing and feeling the light?  Rely on the power of the Spirit and tell Satan, "Get behind me!  You have NO place here!"  Break through that wall and keep moving forward!  Don't be surprised when another wall appears, but don't give in!  A brick wall can only stop you for as long as it takes you to blast it down!  Some walls will take some work, one brick at a time, but allow God to work alongside you as he changes and shapes your character into His likeness.  Learn from it and move on.

Renewal

What do you think of with the coming of a new year?  Do you worry for things on the horizon?  Do you look back at what was left undone...what you could have done better?  Do you set goals for a "harder, better, faster, stronger" future?  What words come to mind?  Many of us resolve to revise, renew, reclaim, rework, reimagine, or even remake our lives in some way.  Well, I am one of these people...this blog has been a blessing in so many ways to many people and God has convicted me to revisit what He is doing here with the blog and with me.  A heart in Christ is a heart under construction.  It takes constant reworking, refining and renewing to remake a human heart into a Christ-like heart.

Renewal is not a new concept.  Each new season leads to the renewal of spring.  Each rain brings a revival of life.  Each trial we face brings reforming in our hearts, minds, and lives as Christ refines us from the inside out to make us more like Him.  Isaiah reminds us,

"You became weary on your many journeys, but you did not say, “I give up!” You found a renewal of your strength; therefore you did not grow weak." Isaiah 57:9-11

Refining can be wearisome...it is not easy to allow God's hand to remold our character...and if we allow ourselves to give up, do stay weary, to try to do it all on our own, WE WILL FAIL.  BUT, if we do not give up, if we look to God to renew our strength and lean on Him to help us through the reshaping process, we will come out on the other side renewed in deeper relationship with Christ and closer to the person He desires for us to be.

So, at the arrival of this new year, I'm prayerfully looking back on what God has done in my life in the past year and rethinking how I can partner with Him in what He is doing this year. In partnership with Christ, this blog will change from it's current form, and, hopefully become something honoring and glorifying to God.  Something that encourages and strengthens my renewal and, I hope, becomes something encouraging to you as well.

"Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God." Romans 12:1-3

Good, Pleasing, and Perfect

I love the fall.  The air cools as the sun sets sooner allowing longer evenings and later mornings.  Pumpkins line storefronts and porches as trees announce in brown, red, and gold "Fall has come!  Make way for winter!"  Today, I spent the afternoon helping a friend rake her yard in the wonderfully crisp fall air, that still felt warm somehow...seeing the beauty of The Creator in all that the late afternoon light touches.  The changing of leaf colors, the smell of dry dust, leaves, and grass as the year comes to an end...all of this points to the Glory and power of God...more than that, it all points to the sovereignty and planning of our great orchestrator.  In Sunday School this morning we talked about the plan of God...Romans 12:2 describes God's plan as the one that is good, pleasing and perfect...and as we see the seasons change, God allows us a window into His greater plan.  Everything that matters has a beginning a middle and an end...Spring begins new life which flourishes into Summer.  As Fall dawns, vibrant life begins to fade and rest.  Winter throws a blanket of finality as life seems to stand still...and stop.  All this, to set the stage for Spring to burst forth with glorious and triumphant fanfare!

The best part about all of this is that none of it surprises God.  He has made it all and made it all good, with purpose.  This is how He has made your situation...your season of life.  whatever you're going through, no matter how big or small, good or bad...no matter how in control you feel...or not...God is in it, God is on it, and God is walking you through it!...Allow Him to work it!

Through the Looking Glass

Do you ever find, in your conversations with God, that you sometimes get stuck in the same theme for a while?  All your questions and wonderings, all your thoughts and prayers are linked together with the same underlying "problem"?  I've been stuck for some time in the same circle, it wasn't until recently (within the past few days) that God revealed what was at the center.  You see, I have a crush on this guy...never mind the details, that's not the point...and it has come to my attention that a friend has a crush on the same guy.  Now focus, here's the point: I find that I am comparing myself to her.  In my mind I have listed all the things that are better about her and all the things that are better about myself...not even knowing if the guy has a care for either one of us!  Does this honor God?  Does my comparison and evaluation of this sister in Christ honor the Father?

We do this often, don't we?  Compare ourselves to others.  It's a natural and common problem to have.  Consider 1 Corinthians:

"For as the body is one and has many parts, and all the parts of that body, though many, are one body—so also is Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. So the body is not one part but many. If the foot should say, “Because I’m not a hand, I don’t belong to the body,” in spite of this it still belongs to the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I’m not an eye, I don’t belong to the body,” in spite of this it still belongs to the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But now God has placed each one of the parts in one body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be?" 1Corinthians12:19

 

There is always someone who has or is the very thing we wish we could have or be...We often have the feeling that something is missing or lacking in some way.  Thinking "If I could only be like..." "If I only had..." "If I could just get..." Going back to the notion that we can put God's puzzle together ourselves...without His model to follow.

God's word says that the whole body can not be an eye...we as Christians are one body.  Created in the image of the most high sovereign God as individuals and as one body!  By the very nature of God's creativity we can not be the same...if we were all the same we would all serve the same purpose and some things just would not get done.  Comparing myself to a sister (or brother) in Christ is like the ear comparing itself to the eye.  We are both created in the image of God and both given a specific purpose within the body and therefore it is necessary that we are different!  Specifically created each for our purpose.  Likewise, being created in the Image of God we are to reflect only one thing.  GOD!  God created man in His image, Christ came to earth as a man, the very church is a picture of the BODY of Christ!  When we look into the mirror, our ONLY standard of comparison should be Christ!

When Christ is our only standard, it becomes much easier to work as a unified body to accomplish the purposes of God's kingdom.  The body needs each unique member to function the way it was meant to.  And, sometimes, in our uniqueness is where we find our intimacy with God!  I'll be honest, this is not easy.  It's a constant battle to keep taking our thoughts captive to Christ...lifting up each and every concern that plagues our consciousness with open hands to surrender them to God.  If we are not careful, we can form our identity in trying to be something different that what we are.  Let's not get carried away with "what ifs."  Find your identity in Christ!  Embrace who He has created you to be!  When you look through the looking glass into who you are, find yourself uniquely fitted into Christ's body, in a place only YOU can fill, and carry out your work as for the Lord using only Christ as your point of reference!

The Best of What's Around

When we begin on a journey with God, it's exciting and freeing and promising.  There is so much to look forward to and nothing to fear because God is with us.  Then, the journey takes a turn we had not figured into the plan.

Five years ago, I was thrilled to be graduating college and moving into the next phase of my life.  I had a plan...ideas...a picture of what I deemed right and worthy for my life.  Once I had that set, I told God I was ready to put Him at the wheel and follow him where He would lead.  I was ready to follow.  I was ready to welcome HIS plan.  What I was not prepared for was that His plan was not the same as my plan.

My current prayer pattern often includes "God, this is not what I had in mind..." I had such a different picture for this moment in time.  A plan I thought was iron clad.  A plan that was mine...not God's.  It's not as easy to just "let go and let God" as it seems it should be.  Human nature recoils at the very thought of giving up the power to something unseen - uncontrollable...  Graciously, God has a way of making our feeble attempts at greatness pale in comparison to His sovereign will.

In church today, LT said something that really stuck.  It's been rattling around in my mind all afternoon...He said "God is at work, He is never tardy, and it will be the best in the end."  The thought that none of MY best laid plans are best is more than comforting.  It's freeing!  Freeing to know that putting it all together is not on my shoulders...it's on His!  What peace this provides!

I realize that this is roughly a carbon copy of my last post...but it's a lesson that God is continuing to teach me because I need continuous reminders.  As I continue to allow God to put the puzzle together (despite my attempts at taking over) I find my prayer pattern has changed to "God, make my mind like yours.  Make my will match yours.  Show me how to execute your plan to your glory."  I know that God has my life and purpose already written.  I know it's up to me to make the right choices to follow that purpose.  And, God knows that I'm going to try to take over again.  I am going to try to insert MY desires into HIS plan.  I am going to attempt to use my own power because that is what humans do.  But, God decides the end and in the end is when all things are at their best.

I still struggle moment by moment to reconcile my ideals to His will.  There are many things I think I am missing out on.  Many I have shared, and some I have kept between me and God.  And sometimes it's super hard to move on past those desires as I see the people around me thriving in pieces of a life I would have planed for myself...however, when the dark sadness of doubt and fear snakes its way into my thoughts, God is always there to remind me of the truth.  He is with me.  He is at work.  He is never tardy.  He will give the best in the end!  And the darkness fades and I am left with bright hopeful joy!  I am not missing out...I am holding out.  Waiting in Christ for the best of what's around!

The Face of England

On Christ the solid rock I stand!

 



With my feet on the cobbled streets of England, I began a journey I couldn't have anticipated.  I knew, of course, that embarking on my first mission trip, leaping out of my comfort zone, opening my heart and spirit to anything the Lord may have planned would have some lasting effect...though I'm not sure what I thought would happen.  Something groundbreaking and life altering I suppose.  The surprising this is that I got exactly what I thought I would, only it grew in a different way.  God blessed me with new friends, new family, and newfound joy!

 

One of my closest friends asked me what my biggest disappointment was...I had never thought about that...and of course after the fleeting regret that I didn't come home with some wonderful British love story I began to consider her question and was a bit surprised at my answer.  At first, nothing.  The beauty of the place, the warmth and openness of the people we met, the color of the ocean...all of it had me swooning!  As I continued to relive the experience, with my friend waiting for my response, I saw them.  I saw the faces od England.  Sad, dark, sorrowful faces...not a smile on anyone I passed on the streets...this is my greatest disappointment, and the reason (or at least partially) that God pulled a group of Americans together to storm the castle and share not the gospel in word but the gospel in joy.  In the simplicity of a smile.  And in that short bit of revelation God pieced together His lesson for me.

No matter where I go, no matter how far away or different or scary something might be, He is with me and so I carry with me joy and peace because Christ IS joy and peace.  More than that, I know that as long as I am doing God's will, I will be happy.  I will be satisfied.  I will be fulfilled!  And nothing can take that away!

I spend so much time trying to piece together God's plan.  I try to take the bits He's given me and arrange them into what I think makes the prettiest picture...what I think that outcome should look like...much like taking a 5000 piece puzzle and putting it together without ever seeing the picture on the box...there's just no way to do it.  ONLY God knows what His picture for your life looks like.  There is NO WAY to put it together yourself...but there's the beauty of it.  He KNOWS!  God has your life and mine already written in the heavens!  For as long as we try to follow His path, as long as we take the next step as He gives it to us, it's done.  And it's perfect!  No worry.  No fret.  No stress.  Just Christ and a lifetime of joy.

So, there it is, loves.  My take away is: I got my joy back!  The only thing left to do is SHARE it!  To SHINE the light God has strengthened into the lives of those around me...and pray every moment that I do well in His eyes.  Thank you to all of you who prayed for me and supported me and the team and the trip.  Please continue to pray for the people of Penzance and the wonderful family I have in the Light and Life church there.  They have such a beautiful thing started!  Pray for revival and renewed JOY!  Cheers :)

Easier Said Than Done...

Sometimes, God's purposes are made immediately clear. Sometimes we practice waiting and growing until His plan is revealed. Many times, we wait long enough that purpose either pops up unexpectedly or not at all causing the wait to be that much harder. I have experienced all of these in varying degrees, and I'd have to say the first scenario is my favorite. However long God has for us to wait, the part He hopes we will focus on is the journey, the process in the waiting. It is extremely easy, however, to become indifferent, complacent, and lukewarm when the waiting is long.
Revelation 3:14-22
"Write to the angel of the church in Laodicea:
“The Amen, the faithful and true Witness, the Originator of God’s creation says: I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish that you were cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of My mouth. Because you say, ‘I’m rich; I have become wealthy and need nothing,’ and you don’t know that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire so that you may be rich, white clothes so that you may be dressed and your shameful nakedness not be exposed, and ointment to spread on your eyes so that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and discipline. So be committed and repent. Listen! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and have dinner with him, and he with Me. The victor: I will give him the right to sit with Me on My throne, just as I also won the victory and sat down with My Father on His throne. Anyone who has an ear should listen to what the Spirit says to the churches.”
Spent the day with a great friend today. During breakfast, we looked at this passage together. We talked about the choice to answer Jesus' call and open the door to Him...and, if we choose NOT to respond to HIM we are in fact responding to Satan. Satan will fill any bit of our heart that is left open...Choosing anything other than Christ to fill our hearts, is choosing Satan. We must, therefore, choose to look at ALL things through the lens of the Holy Spirit and listen for Jesus' knock on the door of our hearts because our actions, deeds, works, whatever, are NOT going to get us anywhere but tired. Jesus will not rest until we respond and when we respond, we are able to rest! It's when we are able to rest in Him that our works and deeds become a blessing rather than a trial. God provided the opportunity after breakfast to join another friend and volunteer our time and talent to put into practice His call to show Jesus to others...a task we are all called to as soon as we say "yes" to Jesus' knocking and welcome Him into our hearts. Throughout the day, I've reflected on the thoughts of the morning and God has granted me sight into His purpose for this day; to show me, I believe, that today is the day that matters! Yesterday is dead and gone. Tomorrow has worries of its own. Today is the day the Lord has made, His mercies are new every morning!!!
Not that this is a new thing...Popular culture tells us to live for today, for tomorrow we die...the point is, what will you DO with today? Will you use this day, this hour, this moment, to reach others for Christ?
Jesus calls us to boldly approach the throne of grace (Heb 4:16) so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time. God fills us so that we may then boldly share His truth with others. As I come closer to my first overseas mission trip I am comforted and strengthened by this truth! I know that I can confidently and boldly approach the throne of grace so that I may be filled with grace to boldly share Christ with the people of Penzance, England! I see each day how God is preparing my heart for this trip. Not all is it is easy. There is some refining - a bit of fire to walk through along the way - which is never easy or fun. God's molding of my character has become a new joy every evening...just to look back on the day and choose to find the good that god has uncovered in my heart!
We are all a work in progress, and sometimes the waiting is long, but God is faithful to complete the work He started in each of us and calls us only to be faithful to follow His lead. We don't go blindly...He's with us always, even to the end of the age.

Have you seen the new...?!

Well, it has been a long time, friends!  December seems so long ago.  God has done so much, yet it seems there has been so little to share...Sometimes floating through a quiet season waiting for an answer to prayer is  indeed an answer to prayer.  Much has been on my mind, and there have been several times I have sat down and opened this page and began to write...then something always stops me.  This blog has been an outlet in so many ways over the past two years (my first post was Easter Sunday two years ago!) yet I somehow lost sight of the true goal and purpose to WHY I write...To share the joy and peace and wonder of Christ with anyone willing to read along with me.  Today, God has burst through my personal wall with a small gleam of purpose.  Over the bast several months I have allowed the enemy to infiltrate my resolve and fill my heart with the blackest lies, fear, worry and doubt...the TRUTH is, I have overcome!  John 16:32-33 tells us that we may have peace.  Even though we will have suffering, we are told to be courageous, for Jesus has conquered the world!  The very power of Jesus name is enough to cast out every unwanted darkness and flood the mind, body, and spirit with healing light IF we allow it to come in!
I was watching Enchanted today...the princess movie where the heroine is tricked and falls into modern day New York and makes her dresses out of the curtains and a rug...Patrick Dempsey is there...anyway, it made me think about all the times I get excited to tell everyone I know about the new product I just discovered or the sale or deal I found.  And we all do this, right?  We gush over the new recipe we found or the new shop that just opened.  We share "deals" websites and how to get bulk items delivered to your door and the latest technological device and by the way, where did you get those shoes!?!  It's wonderful to be able to share new information with our friends and family, information that has in some way bettered our lives; we love to share it because we think we will have helped them and made their lives better in some way.  This sharing comes so naturally to so many of us...why do you think that is?  What information could be SO important that we are "pre-programmed" to share it!?!  You guessed it!  Jesus!  The One who died for us all to save our souls and cover our sins so that we might have relationship with the Father!
...p.s. I just did this with my Mom and told her about the wonderful new Greek yogurt with chocolate, it's Chobani and it's fantastic!...and now, I've shared with you!
If it's this easy to share about yogurt, or any other product, why does it seem so difficult to share about Jesus-the ONE who has TRULY transformed our lives?
I'm not saying it's wrong in any way to share the wonderful discoveries that have changed our lives.  It's NORMAL to share what we love!  The POINT is, do we think Jesus is one of those wonderful discoveries, and WILL we share Him?
So, with the goal in mind...to SHARE Christ, I wish to share with you a new season God has brought me to. I am headed on my first overseas mission trip in ONE MONTH from today!  I am going with a small group from my church to Penzance, England to share the gospel and help a growing church!  I am so excited for God to rip me out of my comfortable complacency and stretch me and grow me closer to Him and closer to His likeness.  There is still much to be done before the trip, still support to be raised, still meetings to have, still a passport to receive, and many other bits, but I leave all of this in God's hands because He is sovereign and He will take care of every detail to meet HIS expectations.  I look forward to allowing God to speak through me as I diligently seek to fill my heart with Him until He overflows into EVERY moment, relationship, and conversation in my life!  There's a challenge in there for me as well as for you!  Will WE diligently work to make Jesus the topic of conversation as we share the wonders that have changed the way we live our lives...HAS Jesus CHANGED the way you live your life the way your iPhone has?  Think about it.

Happy to be back friends.  God is SO faithful to bring us through hard times and into His time.  Have a great week.

Purpose in the Waiting

As you well know, it's that time of year again!  Time for family gatherings and celebrations.  Time for busy malls and holiday deals.  Time for decorating and gifts.  Time for recognition and celebration of our Savior's birth into this world.  While contemplating this time of year, something seemed to click today.  It simply BLOWS MY MIND that Jesus would leave all His splendor in heaven to bind His infinite being in the form of a helpless baby.  A baby!  The most helpless and dependent of creation!  He came to grow up with His people.  To LIVE among us!  He could have come as a man.  He could have made a way to not have to come at all.  BUT, He chose to come.  He chose to leave glory behind.  He chose to be born into our world as a baby and grow for 30 years into a man before He began His service ministry.  ...that's what hit me.  He WAITED for 30 YEARS to learn and grow and mature as a human before He began His ministry to the masses.  And what was He waiting for?  What did He come for?  To teach for 3 short years and to DIE.  He was waiting to die.  To SAVE us from our sin!  To provide the ONLY way to the Father.  He waited until the time was right...until God's timetable told him to move forward.  Could He have stood that first night of His birth and preached to the shepherds, wise men, and His parents?  OF COURSE!  He was still FULLY God!  But, He waited.  He spent time with the people of earth experiencing all the things of life that we experience.  Making relationships.  Learning to walk and talk and read and write.  Falling down and scraping His knees.  Running to His mother when His brothers wouldn't share.  He struggled with our same emotions and faced our same trials...with one HUGE difference...He NEVER sinned.  He NEVER complained.  He NEVER gave up.

I am facing a season of waiting.  So far, this season has lasted 4 1/2 years...How long will my waiting last?  And there it is...Christ waited 33 years to fulfill God's plan for His life and never once complained or got mad at God or questioned His purpose...He just trusted the Father and followed the plan...  what do I have to complain about?  Jesus came to reveal the things of God. In His waiting, Jesus revealed that even the waiting has purpose.

Even the Waiting has Purpose.

Waiting can be hard.  Waiting can be torture.  Waiting can be annoying.  BUT, at the end of the waiting come RELIEF!  AND, the LONGER the wait, the BETTER the blessing.  I truly believe that!  Think about it.  The longer you wait for something, the anticipation grows and grows and the poof!  You get what you've been waiting for and it proves to be MORE that you ever imagined!  Praise God for waiting.  As I seek to draw nearer to Christ, to become more like Him, I will seek to embrace my wait and look forward to the end with anticipation and joy...NOT with complaining and a sour spirit.

May God bless your wait with more that you can ask or imagine!  May God grant you the peace of knowing in your heart and mind that there is purpose in all of it, even in the waiting.  May God grant you rest from worry, fear, doubt, and may He strengthen your faith and belief that He is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do!

Obedience

^"Though He was God’s Son, He learned obedience through what He suffered.  After He was perfected, He became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him, and He was declared by God a high priest in the order of Melchizedek." Hebrews 5:8-10

Hey friends!  There are no words for how much I have missed you these past months.  I'm not sure how the time has gotten away from me...then again, I guess as we get busy, some things get pushed aside...forgotten...re-prioritized.  I have been struggling to get myself back to the computer and back to the commitment I've made to you through Saturdays with Sara.  Not that this is something you have come to expect, but rather something I have been called to by God, He expects it of me...He expects my obedience...He deserves my obedience.  Recently, this is the last thing I want to give Him.

Obedience is an interesting thing.  Obeying one thing ultimately means disobeying another...Matthew 6:24 tells us "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Examples might include God and money (as indicated in the Matthew verse), good and evil, work and rest, diligence and entertainment...etc.  God requires our all...He requires our obedience for He sent His Son Jesus as the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him.  I have a confession.  I have not been obedient to God.  SO many times He has whispered and called me to His word, called me to His purpose, called me away from my distractions and every time I have turned away from Him.  PRAISE God He is willing and ready to take me back now!  What great forgiveness He offers!  No matter how far we have run...no matter if we keep on running, our Heavenly Father, our Emmanuel waits for us to turn back to Him.  He waits for us to confess our disobedience.  He waits for us to repent and turn away from whatever it is that has distracted us from His glory.  And He waits for us to RUN into His OPEN arms so He can welcome us back!  Thank you Jesus!

I am emptied.  I am humbled.  I am changing.

God allows trials in our lives to stretch us, to grow us, to challenge our faith and I believe that the trial  of disobedience is one of the most powerful testers of our faith!  God requires our obedience but He also gifts us with FREE will.  God is not a tyrant.  God does not wish to force truth and obedience on us.  He loves us and wants what is best for us and above all He wants us to make the choice!  To make a choice between obedience and following the pattern of this enemy world.  For a time, I chose the pattern of this world.  And what did I gain?  Trial.  Difficulty.  Battle.  True, the only thing I have gained for myself in my effort to embrace the world's pattern is a deeply rooted battle for my mind, my heart, and my soul.  Satan want's so badly for me to fail, and I've made it so easy for him to win.  Praise God for the Holy Spirit who nudges and leads and reminds and helps speaking truth into my heart all the while.  No, there is nothing to gain by seeking to imitate and fit into the world.  I count it all as loss.

As I turn back to my Heavenly Father, I feel him gently lift my head to gaze fully into His glory so that He might begin to fill me once again.  My prayer is this: that God would continue to empty my heart of the temporal pleasures I've used to replace Him in my life and fill the emptied spaces of my heart with His eternal mercy, glory, truth, and love!  I pray the same for you, friends.  What has distracted you from Him this week?  How have you chosen to disobey Him by putting off your obedience.  In what way will you choose to sacrifice yourselves and obey Him this week?  My commitment is to get back into the Word.  To fill my heart with truth once again and purge my soul of the lies I've welcomed.

As Christmas dawns and we begin  to reflect on the gift and coming sacrifice of Jesus Christ, what better time to recommit to truth and obedience?  Run into His arms loved ones!  He's waiting for you!

Forgiven

You know how people have a life verse?  Well, when I was in high school, I learned a song that has become a life song.  That song is "Take My Life" by Third Day.  The first verse of this song is: "How many times have I turned away?  The number is the same, as the sand on the shore.  But every time, you've taken me back. And, now I pray you do it once more. Please take from me my life, when I don't have the strength to give it away to you, Jesus."  I feel like this is all I say to God.  I know it's not true, there are other prayers I have, but this is the one constant.  I continually mess up and turn away from Him and EVERY TIME he takes me back into the same loving and healing arms as before.  He forgives me.  And, even though I left Him for a time, He assures me that He NEVER left me!  No matter how long I was away, no matter how bad I feel I've messed up, no matter what sins were committed, no matter WHAT, God WELCOMES me into His presence!  Now, I know that when someone has turned on me, i am not very willing to take them back...and even after forgiveness there is a time of dis-trust where the other person must somehow earn back my love and affection and community...until they do, they remain on the outside.  This is common in our fleshy relationships...isn't it?  When someone has wronged us, we lock them out for a time...sometimes forever...  I'm will to bet that you have someone in mind right now.  Someone who's done this to you...or someone you're doing this too.  It's natural.  When we are hurt, we want to protect ourselves.  

God is not like that.

No matter WHAT you have done, God loves you the same and holds you in his arms even while you kick and scream like a child to get away from Him.  And when it's over, He welcomes You back the same as before.  No love to earn.  No time to make up for.  Nothing to work hard to get back.  He just keeps on loving you.  Unconditionally.  What a great comfort and peace that truth is!  But, there's more.  Because God has modeled this love for us, because He continues to show us and teach us HOW to love, and because He created us in His own likeness...We are called to love the same.  God's desire is for us, His people, to love each other unconditionally as he has loved us.  We have the perfect model.  The triune God of the Universe has shown us how...Now how will we respond?

I wonder, how can one forgiveness be the same as another?  Perhaps what this person did to me is worse than what I've done to someone else?  No, hunny.  Forgiveness is forgiveness...there is none better or worse...it's forgiveness.  If God has forgiven us (His people), and welcomed us back into His glorious presence after we have caused His SON TO DIE ON A CROSS because of our sin, how can we not forgive another person (also made in God's likeness) for whatever thing they've done to us?  It's forgiveness.

Check out the song.  It's amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP_uMWULQN0

For the Love of...

Happy Saturday!  I hope you have had a great week!  I know I did!  Today was the perfect start to Fall!  Sunny and 90...Praise the Lord!  I couldn't ask for a better day!  There is so much joy in sunshine...it's like a hug from God saved just for me!  I went out to Target today in search of a product I have fallen in love with...have you ever fallen in love with a product only to find that it's no longer made anymore...or it's no longer carried in stores?  This is what I found today.  I went looking in three stores and was disappointed.  As I drove home, God began forming a thought in my mind...We've fallen in love with the world's product.  Whatever the world culture is selling each of us (for some it's instant gratification, for others it's wealth, of others a big house with lots of space, for others the perfect job, for others time...the list goes on) we've fallen for it. Then, when we search God for a refill on the product we love, we come away disappointed.  Why?  Because we've fallen in love with something that is not from God.  God loves us so much that He created the world perfectly just for us...SO much that He sent His son to die to save us from eternal darkness!  God fills us with light yet we remain loyal to the darkness.

Now, to be clear, I'm not equating shopping to darkness....I AM equating the misplaced love of things to darkness.  God created us to love.  In our sin we direct our love toward man made things--even God made things--and in no time at all we've lost sight of God.  I was reminded in my shopping venture that there are few things I need and even fewer things I love (though I throw the word around easily enough).  I was reminded that the one true origin of my love is God and He is where my affections should be directed.  He is first in all things!

That's it friends, short and sweet!  The love of God overflows from my heart so I can share it with you!  Have a blessed Sunday and a beautiful week!

Wait...

Waiting can be the longest and hardest process of a person's life.  Christian or not, we spend much of our lives waiting.  We wait for high school...then we wait for college...then we wait for our career.  We wait for the bus, we wait at a red light, we wait in traffic.  We wait for the microwave, we wait for the coffee pot, we wait for water to boil.  We wait in line, we wait on hold, we wait for change.  We wait at the doctors office, we wait for results, we wait for a cure...  Waiting sometimes seems a chore...a necessary evil...a waste of time...above all, irritating and many times painful.  The Christian is told to wait on God.  Psalm 27:14 tells us to "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Luke 12:35-37 urges us to be alert and keep our lamps lit as those waiting for their master to return.

...

I had written out this beautiful 'message' last night....I was going to send and post on time this week...and in my haste, I lost the whole thing.  I had written about waiting...it was eloquent and lovely and expressed exactly what I wanted to say; the point being that we should wait IN God rather than wait ON Him, work WITH Him rather than Against Him...and perhaps this message is better suited to another time, because God stopped me.  I spent much of last night upset and frustrated at myself that I lost all my hard work and then sat down this afternoon to recreate the beauty of last night's Saturdays with Sara...and I realize as I sit here, that I have made this about me.  I have become the center goal rather than God.  I have turned this great blessing to encourage others through the wisdom God has given me into a vessel of praise for myself.  It may not look this way on the outside, in fact to you it may seem the same, as though nothing has changed.  But as I think over the past months and consider my heart, I see the truth is I have stopped consulting God and allowed myself to lose sight of the purpose.  So, lets revisit that purpose.  

I began Saturdays with Sara as a letter of encouragement to two of my dear friends which morphed at God's push into this blog.  God had prompted me to send you a weekly email encouraging you to persevere in your mission and run the race with strength and confidence in the Lord.  I woke up early every Saturday morning, I prayed, and I allowed God to lead.  Somewhere along the way, that purpose got lost.  At some point in the past few months, I have become the center of my life...and God has become all but forgotten...a memory...an afterthought...I'm not sure where to go from here other than to return in prayer to God.  I desire to be His hands and feet.  I desire to use the gift He has given me to encourage and uplift you, my dear friends and the people who read my blog.  This, I believe is still part of God's plan.

I need to begin again to wait in God for direction.  To rest in God's timing.  Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that God makes all things beautiful in HIS time and has set eternity in the hearts of men, but we can not know the beginning from the end.  The point of my prior email (the one unsent) was that as we allow God's love to overflow in our hearts...as we allow His will to direct our paths...as we serve Him using the gifts He's blessed us with we lose sight of the wait and it becomes less difficult...waiting becomes more of a joy as we see and feel how God is changing and shaping us through our works and our wait.  (it made more sense before).

Now that I've reminded myself of why I'm doing this, maybe we can get back on track.  I am so thankful to God for the journey he has brought me on...the changes He has made in me.  Without God, I would not be who I am today and could not become the woman He created me to be.  He has a purpose for each of us, and as we WAIT in Him, we begin to see glimpses of His big picture.  We will never know the end as God does, but we can rest in the truth that He has only our good in mind and take comfort in the fact that God is continually changing us and transforming us through our trials and through our waiting.  SO, the encouragement for myself today, and I hope for you, is to serve God confidently, love God's creation with the same zeal that He does, and live our lives in a way that can point ONLY to God!  

I hope I've expressed my heart well today to the Glory of God...and I hope you have a great week!

"1.21 Gigawatts"

Well, so much for the coolness of last weekend, here comes the heat just in time for Labor Day...September is here and I am SO ready for it to be fall.  The build-up of anticipation is on the verge of bubbling over.  It's true there is a time for everything under the sun, and as the end of a season draws near our hearts quicken with anticipation for that burst into the new and exciting frontier God lays before us.  This past week sped along in a blur...looking back, I find myself confusing where in time I actually stand...a friend referenced the "flux capacitor" (Back to the Future?)  in an email this past week and I feel as though I am in need of one...a trip into the past to fully understand and comprehend where God has taken me.  Do you ever feel lost within your week?  Not sure what the date is, when that deadline was, where did Tuesday go???  No?  Ok, so it's just me then.  In the midst of all this confusion and blurred hindsight I have neglected the one thing that is truly important...I seem to have a knack for forgetting my God who has brought me this far and loved me through each and every harried moment...this I feel ever so deeply.  We all go through these times of dry faith...out of the word and therefore out of touch with the Spirit within us, my "dry spells" seem much closer together than anyone else I know.  Thankfully, I remain habitual in prayer.  Talking daily, many times hourly, with God.  Listening for His input.  Waiting for His guidance.  Asking His forgiveness. All the while seeking to find myself in the center of His will.  And even though Satan tries to convince me that I fail at this, I know he is wrong because I know the peace that passes all understanding...I know that gentle wave of calm and serenity, even through the storm rages all around I have shelter and peace in the center of God's will.  I could be doing better, for sure!  But, God does not call us to be perfect!  At the end of our short post this evening I am reminded of my favorite name for God: Jehovah-Nissi, The LORD is my Banner!  This powerful name of God is announced at the top of my blog and it is what I wish for people to see when they see me.  The Lord, my banner.  Of course, I know that the Lord is not always the banner I choose to fly...sometimes I find my banner is much darker.  There are all sorts of banners, flags we fly to announce our arrival in life, flashing neon lights selling what we have to offer, alerting those who see us to the truth of our character and the focus of our lives.  What banner (or banners) have you flown today?  This week?  I challenge myself, as i challenge you, to be conscious of my banner throughout the day...Am I carrying the banner of Christ?

God Makes All Things Beautiful!

Fall is in the air this morning! There's a cool breeze and it smells like dry leaves; it's the kind of weather that makes me want warm cozy blankets, hot chocolate, and ooey gooey warm cheesey dinners. Fall, I think is the most comforting season, and it seems that every time fall hits, I need some comforting. God know exactly what we need and brings us through our seasons at just the right time. This past week has been a week of loss...On Monday, we helped Bailey, our sweet dog of 15 years out of pain and out of this world. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am so thankful that God prepares our hearts for times like these and fills them with His love, mercy, and grace. I still have an empty feeling when I think of her and am reminded she's no longer here, and I imagine that will linger for quite some time.

Then, on Wednesday, I found out that someone close to me is "moving away", and we will no longer be able to be "so" close...Last, on Friday, I said goodbye to nine of my students (that's half of my class) as they "moved up" to their new class, some of them had been with me for almost a year-and-a-half, this prooved to be more difficult than anticipated. The comfort of this fall breeze is more than healing than I can describe! Sitting in my living room with the door and windows open, getting close to grabing a blanket, looking forward to the new week and new season ahead.

I was reminded this morning of the verse that says

"And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”' Revelation 21:5

"He has made everything appropriate (good, beautiful) in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiasties 3:11

Our God is in the business of transformations...think of the swan, for example. The swan duckling is often reffered to as "the ugly duckling," we've all hear the children's story of how the ugly duckling is laughed at and teased and them grows and matures to become more beautiful than his taunting counterparts...(looking at the picture above, these litte swans are not so ugly, but for the sake of illustration, lets pretend)  I believe this is a beautiful picture of God 'making all things new.' God can bring beauty out of every situation, good or bad, and works all things together for our good, and does not allow anything that does not fit into or fulfill His will and final plan. So, I like to think that God is in the business of swan-making! Which he is. He made the swans, afterall. :) What I mean is, even after my seemingly terrible week, I know that just like the swan, just like this cool fall morning after a crazy-hot summer, God is renewing and refining my heart through every season He wills for me to go through. Therefore, I must be thankful, even for this past week, because God is using it to transform my heart and my life so that I, too, may one day become the "beautiful ending" he has planned for me!

Blessings, friends! As I look forward to my beautiful ending and the journey of life that will take me there, I pray that God will reveal something beautiful to you this week. Just as Ecclesiasties says, He makes ALL things beautiful in its time!