Have you ever struggled with a season of apathy? I believe there are seasons for everything, Ecclesiastes tells us much about seasons...this season, my heart is steeped in apathy...many times I find myself not wanting to do anything say anything feel anything...Even this email/post/devotional*as some of you have termed SWS* I've been putting off for two weeks. My mind babbles like a river with phrases and ideas that may or may not be filled with wisdom and I compose and revise and think through sentences and paragraphs of next week's blog and when Saturday comes around I seem to find other things to do...avoiding the calling, the tug at my heart to share what God has placed on my heart. So, as I struggle through not wanting and not trying and not enjoying I force-feed encouragement to myself in an attempt to grow to change to move forward to...something...only to feel like life has thrown another curve ball aimed at my heart...God never said life would be easy. In fact, just the opposite, Christ assured us that we would have trials and storms of many kinds and people would hate and persecute us. And life is hard friends...SO hard. I am SO grateful to God for sending the Holy Spirit to enter my heart and HELP me through this life.
My weeks since my last blog have been difficult and I suppose I've used that as an excuse to neglect my commitment to you...Bailey, my sweet dog, got sick last weekend and has been steadily declining, this week, after 15 years of loving furry friendship, we will say goodbye to our dear pet. I am heartbroken. I LOVE that I have a God who I can CRY out to and He will heal my heart! This God who healed Naaman of his leprosy, raised Lazarus from the dead, kept Jonah alive in the belly of a great fish, flooded the earth, parted the red sea and SO many other miracles send Jesus to earth to die on a cross and be raised from the dead so that YOU and I can have life/healing/restoration/and joy everlasting! What wonderful comfort in this truth! So, even in my apathy and lack of passion, I can run to the arms of Jesus and feel comfort and healing...through prayer I can communicate my heart to the One who already knows everything about me and as I draw near to Him, He draws near to me and I begin to feel my passion returning-my desire renewing-my will conforming- and I find myself ultimately in the center of God's will! And no matter how hard life seems to be going, no matter how low or painful or lost life feels, I know I can turn to Christ in prayer and He will ALWAYS rain down comfort and healing! And THAT is a truth worth sharing!
When you experience apathy, combat it with prayer and ALWAYS remember who you are in Christ! You ARE a saint, made perfect, loved, healed, forgiven, restored, redeemed, and washed white as snow! (among so many other things). No matter what pain I may feel, no matter how hard I feel life gets, no matter how many times I turn away, no matter WHAT, God pursues me with the answer! What sweet love :)
I'm sorry that this week we seem to have deviated from out normal pattern of discussion, but this has been my heart for two or three weeks now so I figure God wanted me to share! I hope you've enjoyed our little journey into my heart...I know I needed it!
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